Vulnerable? You bet...
I'm going through a move right now, and I'm asking for lots of help.
Many people will say they aren't good at asking for help, or they have trouble receiving help. That dance of "not being good" at it isn't about the help, it's about controlling how help shows up, how it feels and how it works out. It’s about controlling the experience of emotions.
I watch myself ask for help with a car ride, or packing things or scheduling things. I'm sitting in a coffee shop, doing what I do, and my world, at least in part, moves at the pace of someone else's. I can't pick up moving boxes until the person with the car is available. I can’t book a truck until the next phone call comes in. I can’t…I can’t…I can’t…
"If I had my own car I could just go do it...”
"If I just had a normal job, it would be so different..."
"If things were different, everything would be different!!"
And I have no control.
All I have is communication, kindness, openness, willingness, delight, love and total enjoyment as I walk into something so new I can't even see an outcome.
I'm great at asking for help! I'm great at receiving help. And every day I get better at not judging myself as it all unfolds.
Every day it's more true, the experience proves it out, that the sequence of events is organizing itself. So many humans, so many options, and so much consciousness beyond one person’s conscious mind operates through algorithms of divine proportion. My part is to participate! To participate in the sequence by recognizing what's required, acting when it’s my time to act, and creating the space for it all to happen.
Need boxes? Hop on the app to find free boxes, ask for help to pick them up, welcome the time and space for it to happen, and enjoy the ride!
Need a truck? Engage with the system, make the phone calls, take the steps and enjoy the ride!
Need a little rest? ...rest does not begin with "I should have been able to..."
Rest begins with, "Wow. Look how far we've come..."
If I’m going to feel frustrated or cramped because receiving help is dependent on someone or something else’s availability, it’s just a notion that control is somehow superior to what is actually happening. I can try running away from what’s happening by isolating myself, manipulating the world so I can predict how alone and unworthy I’ll feel…or I can quit that job. Whether control rules the day or the kindness of receiving help brings us together with a sense of unpredictability through the same details of life, things will still be what they are.
The only real vulnerability here is to a sequence of events that is more magical than I could have imagined. Control is always an option. I know how to do that. But I’m just not available for that flavor of anguish anymore.
This is just the practical stuff of living with an open heart. It's the "doing" of kindness with one's self. And it opens all the doors so that the help arrives before you know you need it.