Humanity has learned to be very hard on themselves. Motivation is often generated by thoughts of what punishments, I.e. consequences will be avoided if I do this or if I do that...
It's amazing how many messages are now shared for not being hard on one's self! Be kind to yourself. What a beautiful beginning.
The thing is, coming from an environment of subconscious punishments, how can you know what being kind in your own motivation feels like? How does it feel to act from kindness, even if that action is so familiar it usually runs on auto-pilot?
It takes courage to begin to see the generative force behind why you do what you do. It takes courage to see it for what it is. It takes courage to recognize whether that motivation is of kindness or something else. It takes courage to not punish that which is not kind. It takes courage to feel the difference. It takes courage - not strength, but courage.
Strength is a great tool for holding on to the familiar. It takes courage to stop holding on and adopt new tools.
Courage can feel like failure when the prize has always dangled from strength. When you open more into the sensations though, and have courage to see what the failure is about, you begin to see that you are failing to punish yourself. You are beginning to know the sensations of kindness.
Somewhere in there, you let your breath out. You let your heart in. It feels different.