“I also resonate with gaining a greater sense of who I am and letting go of the other stuff, like, “OH! This is who I am!” And I also find that I like myself better, that I’m being gentler with myself and accepting, which allows me to jump in when my ego takes me for a ride. I recognize that it’s an ego trip of some kind, that there’s something driving me that’s other-than myself. I can see now that I just don’t want to take that ride and I just let it go.
My daughter is applying to a Waldorf school, and she was going to do a shadow day to have the experience of being there. I was freaking out, being the “helicopter dad” who wouldn’t leave things alone, controlling everything down to what my wife is going to wear! My wife asked me, “Dennis, what’s wrong?” And I was able to stop and think, “Yeah, what IS wrong? Why am I acting like this?” And I just stopped dead. I just stopped. And I realized that I was feeling insufficient, that I wasn’t going to measure up to the expectations of this school, even though they were the ones inviting my daughter to attend! I was feeling really insecure, and then I realized, no…no, I don’t need to do that. This is fine. They’re welcoming my daughter, asking us to apply…it’s okay. I can be myself. And then it all just dropped. I was fine after that and relaxed. I apologized to my family.
It was a gift to have that presence of mind to ask myself, “Why AM I doing this?” That was cool.”
- D.B., San Jose, CA