In 1995 I felt completely distraught at what she saw as an absence of kindness in the world. Not wanting to be alive anymore, and not willing to do anything very messy or dramatic, I simply laid down and stopped participating in life, willing myself out of the body. Within a short time, I had let go of everything and was at the point of permanently moving out. I took herself voluntarily, gently to death.
Each time a Dear One is at this point by their own choosing, they are met by their Higher Levels and given the option to step out easily or stay on and fully step into the body to transcend the density. I was met by two presences who felt like old friends, beings of light I recognized as "family" that had been with hemer since the beginning of this life. In an etheric sense, we all embraced like family, and the two essences, Francis and William, began sharing clarity about what was really going on for me.
The imagery they shared was a small white candle lit with a small flame, surrounded in a living field of iridescent opalescence. My family said to me, "If you are ready to blow out the candle, it's quite simple...just blow. But before you make your choice, will you allow us to remind you who you are and why you came to the planet?"
Held in love and strength with indescribable gentleness, I said yes. In that moment, which really was without time, images, downloads, sensations, light, awareness, new knowledge and total communion took the place of all confusion, separation and despair. I remembered!
Together we all laughed and laughed and laughed at how dense and difficult things seem when you're down on the planet, when One has placed the importance of a false sense of belonging ahead of the connection with all that is. So much laughter!
"Okay...okay! I'll stay!" I told her family, and they reminded me that I am not and never will be alone.
Coming back into the body was quite an intense journey as there were still eons of dense consciousness to dissolve from the physicality, from the sub-psyche, from the akashic record realms, from the karmic lattice. I still had plenty of opportunities to walk through unloving relationships, confusion, misunderstanding, numbness, self-recrimination, guilt, manipulation and all of the very creative judgment that's considered normal on this planet. The opportunity was to walk through them and see them for what they are without playing the planetary game of self-doubt and "Is this where I belong?"
With divine assistance, I walked through all of it to bring forth my own divine embodiment. As early as age 3 I was aware that there is a different way to do things here on this planet, in relationships, in the fullest expression of the love that is all around to share. Having moved through all of the dense matter that truly is not who we are...any of us...I am now accessible to share my journey, these tools, assistance and presence with the fully integrated knowing that if I can do it, you can too.
The deepest knowing is also the most patient.